


You make every day worth living

by CocotteJenn



Series: Warden Ana Surana - Sad Mages Worldstate [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Mild Angst, Post-Dragon Age II Quest - All That Remains, Self-Doubt, Writing Prompt, background m!Hawke/Anders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 01:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16801306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocotteJenn/pseuds/CocotteJenn
Summary: (Tumblr prompt) While visiting his brother in Kirkwall, Carver overhears a conversation between Anders and the woman he loves.





	You make every day worth living

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt for @no-id-no-person: "You make every day worth living." for Surana/Carver.

Carver awakened to the soft sounds of a mabari’s snores. It was his brother's. Alwyn had named the beast Carver to spite him, but the joke was on him. The human Carver loved the dog. He had spent many sleepless nights comforting him after Father’s death. Then again after Bethany… And now Mother.

After receiving Gamlen's letter, Carver had felt the need to visit his brother, if only to reassure himself that everything was going to be fine. Ana had accepted to accompany him for emotional support. He wanted to introduce her to Al. But as what? Warden-Commander Surana of Ferelden, Hero of the Fifth Blight? She was so much more than that to him. But how was he supposed to define their relationship when they had made the decision to take things slow? They were in that grey area where they weren't quite lovers yet, but couldn't really call each other friends anymore. In the end, though, that was the word she had chosen to introduce herself as, which was true enough. But it felt wrong, insufficient. Anders was her friend. What the two of them had was different, even though he couldn't find the right term for it. 

Feeling restless, Carver jumped out of bed, waking up the dog. The animal huffed in contempt. Carver quickly put on a shirt and walked out. He needed a drink. Or some leftover pie from dinner, he figured after feeling his stomach grumble.

He was halfway to the kitchen when he heard voices. Anders’ whining was hard to miss. His conversation partner's voice was sweeter but unmistakable. _Maker’s balls!_ _Ana!_ He stopped dead in his tracks and listened. _Shit!_ They were talking about him!

Dinner had been awkward enough when Alwyn had brought up Carver's clumsy flirting techniques. Unbeknownst to anyone else around the table, it was something Surana had already experienced first hand. What if they had found something even more embarrassing to talk about? There had been that one time at Ostagar when he had almost headbutted her…

“He seems to have adjusted to the Grey Wardens well,” he heard Anders tell her. 

“He has,” Ana admitted. “He's become one of our most valuable members.”

Carver's chest swelled with pride. Damn right they needed him!

“I’ve never seen him this peaceful. I think that's your doing,” Anders continued. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“He's in love with you,” he said bluntly.

_ Oh no…  _ If there was one thing Carver didn’t need, it was someone playing matchmaker for him. Especially someone like Anders who couldn’t stand him. Bad enough that the Wardens of Vigil’s Keep had already placed bets on their budding relationship, now he also had to worry about his brother’s friends meddling with something that did not concern them.

“You really think so?” she asked, her voice rising ever so slightly with emotions.

“It’s written all over his face.”  _ Maker, kill me now! _ “I haven’t known Carver long, but I recognize the spark in his eyes. Believe me, when I tell you he doesn’t just have a crush on you, he’s madly in love with you. The way he looks at you, he would die for you and not think twice about it.”

Silence fell over the room, thick and heavy, with only the occasional sounds of cutlery clinking against a plate breaking through the quiet.

“I don’t want that,” Ana eventually said, her voice so weak Carver barely heard it from his hiding spot. His heart sank to his stomach at the revelation. “I don’t want someone who would die for me. I’ve already been there, and it sucks.”

“Shit, I didn't think-”

“I want someone who would live for me,” she explained. “Someone who would live  _ with _ me. Someone with whom I could share the good and the bad. I want someone who would laugh at my jokes and hold me when I’m down. Someone who would both challenge and support me. Someone who would never give up on what we have no matter what trials the Maker throws at us.”

“You don't think Carver could be that man?”

“He could.” There was a smile in her voice that warmed his heart. “But I'm not sure I'm the kind of person he wants.”

“Have you asked him how he feels about all this?”

“I like him, Anders. A lot more than even he might think,” she confessed. “But I'm terrified that I’ll get too attached to him, and then one day he’ll just be gone.”

“Carver isn’t like that. If anything, he's the opposite of that. He is a bit of an arse, sure, but he's far from the worse partner you've ever had. He's strong, loyal, resilient…”

Carver was surprised to hear Anders praise him with such compliments. Maybe the apostate wasn't so bad after all.

“He’s kind, brave and honest,” Ana added to the list. “I know that, but I can't help feeling like something wrong is going to happen,” she sighed. “I desperately want this relationship to last forever, but it won’t. It never does.”

“You’re scared of being happy. You keep thinking you don’t deserve it. That’s a feeling I know all too well.”

“Yet here you are, living the dream.”

“Talk to him,” he urged her. “If he's anything like his brother, he’ll understand.”

Carver had heard enough. The two of them were having a private conversation. He shouldn't have been eavesdropping in the first place.

He waited by the fireplace for her to exit the kitchen, thinking about what she had said. Fifteen minutes passed before she finally walked past him. Those fifteen minutes felt like an eternity to him.

“Ana?” She turned around at the sound of his voice, her eyes crinkling with affection. “Sorry, I, erm, I overheard some of your conversation with Anders.”

“I know.” Her freckled face turned a bright shade of pink. “I felt you through the taint.”

That took him by surprise.  _ She had known? _ All along she had been aware of his presence, yet she still confessed her deepest insecurities, knowing that he would hear them all. She had  _ wanted _ him to know how she felt.

“I just- I wanted you to know that-” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “I can’t promise you I won’t die. We're grey wardens, it's in the job description. But I can promise you one other thing.” He took her hands in his, caressing her knuckles with his thumbs in a comforting touch. “I’ll try my best to stay in this world - to stay by your side - for as long as possible because you make every day worth living. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. I won’t abandon you.”

Her broad smile took his breath away. “Thank you, Carver.” Rising up on her tiptoes, she planted a soft kiss on his mouth. Her lips tasted like apple pie and sweet wine. “And for what it's worth,” she whispered, the firelight dancing in her eyes, “I meant every word I said to Anders. You're one of the best people I've ever met and I really want this relationship to work between us.”

“Me too,” he said, smiling back.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She rested her head against his chest, pressing their bodies together in a tight hug.


End file.
